Healing Trauma Combining Cannabis and Art


Episode 8 - Artists CannaKitty Shares Healing Trauma Combining Cannabis and Art. 

Highlights

  • Meet CannaKitty as she explains Trauma Art.
  • What is Trauma Art therapy?
  • Learn how she tapes into her inner-self to acknowledge and release past traumas.
  • With Cannabis and Art applied correctly learn how to express trauma.
  • An intro to the Trauma Art Show Called "Unfinished" on March 13, 2021
  • And much more.

Are you finding new ways to bring cannabis into your business and would like to share on ECho-Effective Cannabis Healing Ourselves. Email [email protected]

Music by: https://www.purple-planet.com

 

Host Debi - Good morning welcome and we're so excited today to have Irene with Canakittyllc. She is bringing her Trauma art on the road to share with people. She will be having an art show coming this spring and we want to start introducing you to her and how she's using trauma art to help other people learn how they can combine cannabis and art to understand and deal with feelings and emotions that they're dealing with on a daily basis.

Hi Irene (CannaKitty), how are you?

Guest CannaKitty (Irene) - I’m great, how are you?

Debi - Good thank you for joining us today. Can you first start by telling us where the name CannaKitty came from and why you're using it?

CannaKitty -So I didn't start in the cannabis community with that name. I actually had a different handle called Circus Sublime and it fit my life a lot more. Like uh I do too many things and I envision I think I have a painting that I that I gave away my first year of art. Um The Cat in The Hat holding a bunch of dabs and different tools and books and things she's learning. On top of being a mom I was that but with some issues with family they didn't like where the direction I was going in.  So, I took everything down and I thought real hard on what I wanted to be called. What I wanted to feel good about and I know I never had a nickname. I like kitten I like the idea of being that but I feel like it's transformed so much more these last few years because I had to become my brand name and that's different. So, what did I explain I like to tell people it brought out my inner lioness to be CannaKitty. So, it sexy but it was fun it was pop it was definitely cannabis. Um yeah that where my name came from.

Debi - So can you explain to us how you got involved in combining cannabis and art?

CannaKitty – Yes, so I definitely started smoking first. I did, I’ve seen lots of doctors and by 18,19 I was at the neurologist's office and they've been giving me all the pills and he just asked me you know have you ever considered cannabis and I said you know I’ve started to because of all this. My friend was already a recreational user. He's like good, do that get your card there's nothing we can really do but maintain those symptoms and even then, it's gonna suck. So, any patient he's had he said that's what he does recommend and I'm like that's amazing thank you. So, with that I feel like at the beginning people kind of misuse because it is relieving. It's a very relieving thing not to be in pain not to have all the migraines I was having depression, anxiety so I got too too low. I would smoke too many Indica’s and the art came in because of that. I had my son I had some postpartum all this stuff was crazy and I needed to find something to keep myself busy and excited about the next day and unfortunately, I had no hobbies I had no nothing. So, I started painting little by little me and my husband. So, he actually started with me he started the Circus Sublime with me.

Debi - So is art something that you had always had an interest in and that you had explored at an earlier age? Is that something that just came about once you introduce cannabis into your life.

CannaKitty – uh so, I’ve always been the bookworm. Never ever ever ever praised for my art never took classes in school because they. I kid you not I was 20 years old drawing the same stick people with the little stick house and square box and the triangle on top. I think it's very I was not artistic at all but my husband's like you need to do something that's different for you that you don't have to think so hard on and if you don't know how to paint, well maybe learning to paint would help you do landscapes do nothing and that's why when people ask what kind of art I do it's really hard to explain because I’m like I don't just do one. I do acrylic paints I guess is the best description but if they ask what it is I’m painting it's pretty much everything.

Debi - So when you sit down to paint something do you have a direction in which you want to go or do you just sit down and let the moment drive you?

CannaKitty – Both, definitely both, I definitely have projects I need to do that I’m like okay this is the focal point this is the key points that I want. The details that I want to have in it and then sometimes I’ll even research a bunch of photographs I'll practice sketching something over and over so that I can sketch it on the canvas and then paint it. But when I’m really really bad emotionally I do like the music really loud.  I like the light dim and lots of lights going. Like little strobe light things and I like to just paint and vibe. Like I think one of my favorite pieces I've done I have right here

Debi - That's beautiful

CannaKitty - It's a “CannaPussy”

Debi - Yeah that's beautiful.

CannaKitty-. And I did it with my hand thank you. My very first one but I did it with my fingers and I’m like it's so interesting to think that we don't. We always worry about getting dirty and people would always tell me at the beginning oh, your shirt has paint on it oh. your hands have paint on it and I would laugh like yeah I’m an Artist. Sorry it's everywhere if it's not on my shirt I probably didn't like that shirt very much.

Debi - Do think that you could do what you do with art if you weren't using cannabis? Do you think you could still get to the places that you get?

CannaKitty- Uh no I don't because it is such a relaxing thing for me.  I always explain to people for the first two three years that I smoked cannabis I cried almost every single time I cried. Because I'm like this is what normal feels like. This is what stable feels like, this is what it's like to be without pain and I can't believe that I went so long and let people convince me that I was on my head. That it wasn't you know, it wasn't there. That they've checked everything and you look fine so you should be fine and it's not just uplifting for me it literally breaks that suicidal / mold that I’ve been forced to live in.

Debi - I think that's something that's really unique and individual about cannabis and that we have grown accustomed to feeling bad and accepting that we need to feel bad and then when you start introducing cannabis and you start having these feelings that most of us haven't felt for a very long time and some people have never felt because they were born with conditions that made them feel bad. It's almost scary because you don't know what to do with it and I can understand where you would say that you would cry every day because it was like what am I supposed to do with this feeling and this emotion I don't know what this is and that's um so beautiful that you were able to channel that and turn that into art. So can you kind of explain how that process worked? How you went from crying every day to channeling that into the art.

CannaKitty – Ah, I’ve always fought depression my whole life and it's funny because um as a teenager I was made fun of a lot for picking the self-help books that adults would you know go and have depression over and I’m like guys I’m desperately desperately trying to make it okay so that I’m not depressed and they would constantly be picking at it. So, I just wanted to fight. I didn't I don't like sitting in my depression I've never understood how to make it better. So, I mean cannabis made it better and then I was so sad. So, it made the pain better but the sadness didn't go away so I just told myself I needed a distraction and it was to the point where I would get so medicated I would kind of walk in and forget what I’m doing and go to the kitchen and eat a snack and do nothing and kind of play with my kids and that was honestly really really good for me at first. I tried to explain it to my mom I sat and played with my daughter so much and I hate that it took cannabis for me to be able to do that but I love that I was able to because if it wasn't for cannabis I would not have sat and just enjoyed a moment in peace with my kids. But I knew it was so unproductive because depression with mine I stopped cleaning, I stopped being hygienic, I stopped opening the blinds is a big one. So I just told myself I needed something to distract myself so me and my friend set up little traps for ourselves. If we were too medicated here's the little trap on the table it's going to pique your interest and you're going to want to go and sit and like snack on this thing maybe paint a little and it got me out of my head so I can create a routine. So, once I started creating more and more routine people told me I should paint at parties and I kind of laughed it off. Like I’m not an artist at all I don't paint that's okay, but I was attractive and they wanted me to paint at their party. So, I did and it's so much more patient oriented than I realized, and I fell in love and that's just what I do

Debi – And so when you say it's so much more patient-oriented it's, can you kind of explain that that feeling and that relief that you get?

CannaKitty – As a patient?

Debi - Yes

CannaKitty - Yes so, the very first thing is a lot of agitation and anxiety. Like I’ll wake up if it's a good day that's pretty much as far as it gets and i'm just a little irritable a little this a little that but if it's a bad day my whole entire sciatic nerve my leg it wraps around as painful up my whole back and spine go up with muscle spasms and I always tell my husband it feels like my muscles are so tight like rocks that even when you poke them like it's not nothing's gonna relieve it. So medicating definitely relieved that instead of being on muscle relaxers and migraines. 100% Migraines were like my daily thing. My mom used to scream at me for it I wouldn't be able to get out of bed. Um Thyroid, I’ve got Graves disease I don't even really know what that one means to be honest because when I was diagnosed, I was only 14 and. No no when I was diagnosed with the Graves’ disease I think I was 16 and then they medicated me with pills and then when I turned 18 they gave me the boot and they said you're an adult now we can't treat you and I didn't know what I was being treated for why or what if it was helping. It honestly made things a lot worse and every time I personally felt like something's off my hormones are wrong please doctor like check me again. They would check me three four times a year and they would, They halted me at the very last one and said we will not be checking your thyroid anymore um you're fine and I was definitely not fine. So cannabis came back in because I have played in and out where I try to stop cannabis and use the medications that they tell me there's no way there's no way that it even compares.

Debi - Cannabis definitely does not have the side effects that the pharmaceuticals that you were using have. that's for. So, when you sit down to art, to paint or Let's just use this as an example if you wake up this morning and you're having a good day what drives you to the canvas to paint what is it that sends you there or do you have to be having a difficult day?

CannaKitty - um honestly right now I have not been painting it's really really difficult to get out of like the art funk and you would think having cannabis with in your hand no it's just it's whatever ideas you have and honestly. I have too many ideas and I’ll start a project then I’ll get bored with it and I’ll start a different project. So small canvases is my go-to if I have anything tiny that i can just paint a little bit it'll feel good but if i'm having a good art streak I’m painting almost every day. Whether I want to be or not I tell people it sounds like it's so fun because you get to art all day. No no I’m purging my art feelings it's stuck in my brain and i can't get it out. So, it has to go on a canvas or it's going to sit there and

Debi- I’m sure that every day it's a different purge that you're going through it's not the same purge each day. So, if you wake up this morning and you're painting on one item and then you wake up the next morning and you have a different feeling is it easy for you to transfer from one painting to another?

CannaKitty - uh it is too easy. I think I get distracted doing that because honestly I’ll have maybe like two or three projects going at once because I don't like sitting and staring at the same thing over and over and over. I'm not as obsessive I guess some people will just sit and as obsess over a painting. I can't if I look at it too long, I hate it I don't want to paint it and then I’ll leave it. So, if I do it as quickly as possible and just kind of get it all out and it's nice. What is a consecutive streak it comes out the way I feel like it should.

Debi - Do you have anything that you use as primers or things that get you in that mood? That you need for that piece of art or is it always the same? I know you said you like lights and you like music but are there specific things to finish a piece of art that you go through?

CannaKitty - Um so I definitely like I create the vibe for myself. If it's not that kind of vibe I do like a lot of peace and quiet I’ll have my own head like I like these headphones a lot my brother bought one for me and one for my daughter and they're life changers because you can't hear anything outside and as a mom working here with my kids it's so hard but um just weird candle lighting music like meditation music or I like when people um guided meditation. I like when they walk me through something because it is I have way too much trouble just getting out of my own head unless there's something else in it to make it take up the space. Um a lot of it's on the ground I don't like standing and painting because it's, I don't I don't know it's exhausting that way. I know it's exhausting to hunch over your own art so I guess it's different. I like being closer to the ground.

Debi - What I love about art is it's all expressive in yourself and there's no one right way or wrong way to do it and that you can allow yourself to go with it that works best for you, So I think that's one of the beauties of art and I think it's interesting that you've been able to use cannabis with your art and do you find that your mind is more open and expressive with cannabis as you're doing this?

CannaKitty – Absolutely. Yeah there's no way that I like I said, I don't think I could do this without cannabis. I have painted unmedicated and it's just not uplifting to me, it's not fun anymore it's not helpful to my anxieties my hand will hurt because I actually have really bad carpal tunnel and arthritis. Runs in the family so we just guess that's what's gonna happen to me and my back. I didn't even realize how much the cannabis helps just for the physical aspect of me being able to paint. So that the fumes will make my head hurt if I’m not medicated. So, that's so interesting because it's been a long time since I’ve painted without it because I know I need it. It's helpful but yeah it also opens the mind up. It definitely lets your brain I feel like just taking the air just taking that big breath that it needs.

Debi - So when you paint a piece uh do you give it a title for the trauma that you're talking about um and do you try to explain that to someone or do you want them to find their own experience with your piece of art?

CannaKitty - Uh so I don't name my pieces until after. Like far far after because what I’m feeling, and whenever. I’m yeah sometimes I’ll just tell myself it's an angry piece. Well who are you angry at? Paint a picture of that. If it's nobody, then paint the world and set it on fire because it feels good. So, it's just really way more emotion based. When I paint it when I go through the whole process and naming it after is strange to me. So even the titles are kind of mysterious or metaphors or analogies or some aspect of it. Like one of the paintings, I had painted I don't have it up my “Lilith” painting. I mean it's obviously a strange version of myself and I’m staring at it and it's got the thorned crown and some blindness and I'm like I can't imagine what that feels like for anybody but it's what we feel like as women. So stunted, so silent and we still have to smile and be beautiful and perfect and it was interesting because I only said the name and I showed the painting on the Bud Show and one of the ladies had explained her feelings and emotions on what she thinks the piece is and she got it spot on. With far better words that I could explain and she felt it. There was another woman that I was just it's called Transformation and it looked like an a mushroom with another fat mushroom upside down on it. Like it didn't look like anything to me but when I was painting it, I knew what I was doing. This other lady sees the top of it not even the whole piece the purple on the top and she says is that back one over there for sale and I said you know yeah of course, and she looked at it and she starts crying and she tells me her story and I explained to her the whole piece's name is Transformation and to me it's just the most beautiful insane connection I could ever make and I gave it to her. So, I was like you take it you felt it you felt it exactly how I want. You just you need it far more than I could ever need this and I do that with a lot of my pieces.  A lot of them are either giveaways or just gifts for people because they do, they feel art.

Debi - Well art is definitely something that's definitely interpreted by each individual it's not. Uh you could probably have five different women look at it and they would probably come up with a transformation, but they would have a little bit different story just because of their story that led them through that. So, I think that's what's cool about art.  So, you had made a comment earlier that you don't feel like you were an artist. As people start talking to you about your art and that they can see what you're trying to put on that canvas, and it makes them transform or see what you've put down do you see yourself as an artist now?

CannaKitty – I honestly still no I don't. When I see when I think of an artist I think of someone very skilled in the arts and i'm not very skilled in the arts. I am someone who plays in the arts and it's beautiful and I love that I can give to people but a lot of the artist friends that I have they do people they do portraits they do landscapes and murals and all these other things that I could I mean I could definitely throw canvas. I mean throw paint on a wall but it's not gonna look great for someone's whole living room or anything. So, that's what I think of more as an artist. That's what other people also do as an artist because when they come to me they ask oh can you paint me this or can you? Think I can definitely try but commission art is difficult for me very difficult. How do you commission feelings.

Debi - Well there's a real difference between commissioned art and trauma art. I would assume I would think that trying to work with trauma art is working with your own self-expression and your own feelings that you have trapped inside or that you've been carrying around for some period of time that you're trying to express yourself and put them out. But I believe all art is expressive and there's a ton of artists that have not been schooled but have become very famous for the art that they do. So, I don't think that art fits into one box there's just very many different styles of art and everything that I have seen you do is what I would call art because you're putting something on a canvas that tells a story and leads you on a story and you can walk away with an amazing feeling with what you've seen. So, I think that you need to allow yourself to see yourself as an artist because you are for sure.

CannaKitty – Thank you. I do I do definitely have um that is something I’ve practiced this year is telling me myself and my husband and my kids like when they ask what your mom does I am an artist. Like I have the business name I have everything. All my ducks in a row and other than my own self telling myself. I'm not that great like an actual artist like I needed to take myself seriously I guess, and I didn't because art doesn't feel serious to me. But it is but the way I do it I guess I feel put too much feelings in it and lots of other people just draw pictures and I’m like that's super cool I wish I could do that. I wish I could just draw a picture without adding all the soul and feeling in it.

Debi - No I think that's what you need in art. I think you know. I’ve taken art classes myself I’ve done some art myself. I've taken the study of art and understanding and how to interpret art. Um, art is an expression, an expression of yourself. Expression of what you feel and so you know when you can put that on a canvas because like you said earlier you weren't able to do that.  So, when you are able to do that is something that you're sharing with yourself and then luckily, you're sharing that with the world. With you becoming CannaKittyllc and starting your new art shows and bringing them to the community so that people can learn. That's I think amazing. I think it's something that's really exciting that we're going to be able to experience. That you can use cannabis and art to deal with your trauma and turn it into something positive. Versus always looking at it as something as negative or not helpful. Um can you explain that a little bit about how being able to do this has become more of a positive for you versus a negative.

CannaKitty - I think you definitely helped me see that. That um because you're right it's turning something really what I feel on the inside something really ugly something traumatizing or even if it's not a bad thing. If it's just such a I think lust is a fun one to play with um things that Fantasies. anything you want that other people would say it's a no-no or you shouldn't or gosh forbid that you show people vaginas even though I see penis everywhere. Like it was funny because I’m telling you I was very much a wallflower I was not uh. When I think of an artist that that is a fun thing, I tell myself is oh you're an artist they're weird so it doesn't matter what you're doing because it's okay. If it's weird it's okay. Um letting myself be that and letting yourself be open to whatever feelings you're feeling and then looking at it after. When it when you let it all out and it looks. I mean this piece doesn't look perfect at all if I were to think of what perfect looks like, but I love it so much and it still hasn't sold. Like it's uh one of my first pieces that I tell people and they oh and ah because they're like the first “CannaPussy”. Yeah, but it won't sell and I’m like that's interesting but it has such a strong feeling and it pulls people to ask the questions. I think that's what its all about to let yourself do that.

Debi - Well I think that people need to understand. I don't know if there's anything perfect in life. I think that we all strive to be perfect and we have a idea in our head what perfect is but I mean if you take Rembrandt and look at him he did so many self-portraits of himself and he had his students drawing portraits of him. He continued to paint himself over and over and over. So you know I, I don't know that we ever get to what perfect is and. So I think that when you can allow yourself to just be comfortable within who you are and express yourself as you are. To me that becomes perfect.

CannaKitty – It is, that’s beautiful that’s what it is. I think it's the beauty of the imperfections and it's not that it's imperfect at all. It is heart it's the heart and soul that you see. If someone were to ask me if that's perfect and beautiful like how on earth can you question that of course, they could have tentacles and it's still beautiful

Debi - Right. Well and I mean people don't realize it but if you look at your body even you're made in halves so it's like if you look down the center your right side and your left side they look similar but they're different. Your left ear might be a little bigger, a little longer whatever it may be. So I mean even our own personal body is not what we would consider an ideal match. So that would be considered not perfect but in my mind every body is perfect because it's made the way it's supposed to be.

CannaKitty - So I think that's a big way that art helped me be free because I'm I was very much perfectionist my hair needed to be done my makeup my I mean 16 years old that's what you got to do for no reason. This the society makes you think that there's a certain standard of beauty and with all this art I at first I hated it because it did not look like what I wanted it to look like and over time I've stopped being hard on that perfectionism and way more on like the abstract idea. Well does it feel like a dog because even if it doesn't look in the shape of a dog I promise if I draw fur and ears and a tail somewhere your brain's gonna think the dog. So that's how I’ve been painting for the last few years. If it feels like what I’m trying to do then it's totally perfect.

Debi - So when is it that you decided you wanted to take your art and turn it into a business and try to help other women or try to show women that they could use or anyone It doesn't just have to be women, but I know you focus a lot on women. That they could actually learn to do this and they could transform their life by using cannabis and combining it with art.

CannaKitty - Honestly, I haven't. I'm still in the process of understanding how I fit in that role because for so long I did make no friends that were women. They were very hateful and mean to me and I couldn't understand why. Um that was when I was a lot more perfectionist and trying harder to please men for no reason other than they're the top people in the cannabis community. Then let all those things down and there's some fierce ladies in here and they liked my art and it completely blew me away because I’m like me. I’m a flower and you're lioness how are you loving what I do? How am I uplifting you and they did they told me look this art right here just spoke to me and it. It would. I didn't realize I was a feminist. I wanted to be one I wanted very much the man to take care of me and to feel like I was useful in that way and that's not how I wanted to feel anymore. I wanted that strength that those ladies came up and they were like talking to me and telling me how much I helped them. So, I slowly started to veer more towards marketing and like the events that they were doing and asking questions. Asking how they like this asking how they like that not for their opinion but like is this more stronger I learned to be strong because of women. So, I’m still learning to strengthen women and to empower them with my art because they're still teaching me.

Debi – I think that the cannabis industry in particular has opened a door to allow women to be more expressive and be more open and be on the same level playing field. We still have to fight for it but I think that we have an opportunity if we take it and grab it and run with it that we can be more more ourselves in a community that is open to women being expressive and sharing their feelings. Feelings are something that are very hard for people to do in general. Sharing with just within your own family becomes very hard but then being able to be so open and expressive and share with someone that's a complete stranger is really hard and i think that that's one of the things i like about what you do because that opens that door for everyone to be expressive and to be able to talk about your trauma. Because that's what we don't do enough of is trying to understand how we came to that trauma. What might have you know what we could possibly do to alleviate that trauma and so I think that's beautiful that you're able to start bringing that to the community and share with them. That they can be open and express it in so many different ways we don't have to just sit down and recite it like a book of how it was that. There's other ways that you can express it and share it and allow people in to see it. So I think that's really cool that you do that.

CannaKitty - Thank you because honestly, I didn't think about how I that people didn't talk about their trauma. From a very young age like I said I was not only trying to help myself. I was talking about it I was telling people do you ever feel like that is this weird like what do you do when you when you're feeling like that and then I would ask questions like well why do you feel like that. Like what's going on in your life as a teenager as a kid and they thought it was the strangest thing and even now I love talking to people one-on-one like this. I don't like crowds because it scares me. I'm quiet in crowds but if someone comes and talks to me it definitely like I like to open. I like that open door I like understanding you know the deeper feelings and emotions. I don't like talking about the weather I don't like small talk it's weird that makes me uncomfortable. If you start talking about small talk yeah I love when people open up please open up being open I think is the me fighting for just wanting it to be different wanting to break all those things that were done to me and not have them be a norm in my home. I think cannabis 100 made me a more open and communicative Mom. I would not at all have opened those doors. I would have just done what my parents did which sucks but i fought that and I tried and tried and tried different ways and cannabis has been the clear-cut way to make everything to progress to make everything a little bit better for myself and keep wanting to do that.

Debi - I know you're doing an art show this spring which we're really excited about and can you give us a little idea of how that process is going what it's taking for you to get that done and what we could expect with that?

CannaKitty - So that was a huge project between me and Donna and she's um. We're basically doing what I I’m saying we're purging out a lot of the trauma and a lot of the trauma is more focalized towards sexuality I guess sexual abuse. Just the years that we've had and I want to say narcissism is a key thing that we've learned. Inner things that nobody's going to think about like fighting with your spouse, it's not something that we. I never liked not fighting like not having um emotional moments in front of my kids because then it's weird to constantly be hiding but to go and literally be screaming at the top of your lungs as your child is there sitting in the living room it's horrifying and scary and when you realize. So well as a kid you're never going to realize why they are yelling it's just really loud noises. That's supposed to be one of the immersive art pieces. There's going to be actual sound there's going to be you know giant piece of furniture. You're gonna feel that moment and it's gonna be triggering. So that's another thing is this whole art show is not for everybody. It's not gonna be for people who have not who can't handle that seeing that trauma. That's kind of what we're purging out is just all those feelings emotions thoughts that we were never allowed to say in front of these people or in front of our own parents because god forbid you name the person that hurt you. Um but it's also going to have a lot of fun for people. Because we know all of that we don't want it to be some down horrific experience for people. We do want everybody to feel and yeah some of the feelings are going to be shameful and disgusting and you might like as a woman I never thought I’d be so disgusted in myself for continuing some of these things. Like watching the show, I didn't realize how much it was also dehumanizing what happened to me. For other people, the exciting part to me is that every single piece we're going to put in is going to have such a strong powerful insane emotion attached to it. I'm, I'm very curious to see how the community will take it because that's all the art section is that. The outside it should be fun and light for other people.

Debi - More we bring this forward and the more we talk about this and we make this available for the community to see that hopefully we can help women to break through these chains and these barriers that have been placed on them. By society, by their families and different places.

CannaKitty – I’m so excited about it.

Debi - Yeah so how is it that people can find out about this art show now is there anything being put out about it now or is this still.

CannaKitty - Just in the planning stages but still in the works. We actually have a meeting in December to make sure that we have everything finalized. That way we can start pushing uh promotions from December on and we want to push promotions. We know where it's going to be but like I said everything's not like we want the t's crossed I’s dotted everything good. Um it's gonna be in Phoenix, it's gonna be very big.

Debi – Good

CannaKitty - I'm very excited about it but I’m also like uh how are we gonna pull some of this off because like i said a lot of the art pieces you guys have seen are um i mean they're pretty much just a canvas and some extra things. Um but the art that we're gonna create are super huge immersive pieces. Cocoons and butterflies, I want you to feel like you're small sometimes and it's going to be tricky to do all of those things.

Debi - I think this is a continual journey that you go on is that correct?

CannaKitty - Definitely it's 100 % a journey like I said I’m not the same person that I started out as an artist but I mean feelings are feelings and they're always going to come up and you're always going to need to work through them especially when you have lots of trauma and PTSD. Like this is the perfect thing to do is just art all of it out. I know cannabis is a plant, but it very much uplifts your mind in ways that I can't. I can't explain to somebody who's never smoked. Like if they've never medicated, they, they couldn't possibly understand but if they're open to different things and even if it's not cannabis and it's just like some type of tea. Okay working through those feelings is one going to be easier to get to and two once we get to it it's going to be so much easier to just push it onto a canvas.

Debi - I think people too open up about the trauma is very hard and asking them to put it on a piece of canvas it's even more hard because I don't think that. Well let me ask you when you first set down to do your first piece which is so personal um did you have any idea what you were going to put on that piece of canvas?

CannaKitty - Um no, so when I was first taught to do art they were teaching me. They were constantly trying to teach me how to do shading and the lighting and I still don't understand how to shade and highlight and do things like that at all. I think I have one painting and they just they think it's really good. I’m like the only highlight I got. It's the only painting that has highlights. So, I didn't have anyone guiding me through that and I like the idea of opening people up to their feelings. I didn't realize lots of people were not open to their feelings.

Debi - No we live in a society that people are not open up to their feelings. I work with that on a daily basis with coaching. Find a little bit more honesty, well today really wasn't my best day but I’m pushing through. Uh something just little like that sometimes is helpful to understand the person that you're working with or standing next to today and then that helps us feel just a little bit more compassionate to maybe the struggle that they might be going through I think

CannaKitty – 100 % how I feel too.

Debi - Is there any way that anyone can hire you or contact you and say I have an event coming up and I would like for you to come and share with us your art or I would like for you to do face paintings? You know what other options do we have to get exposure to CannaKitty?

CannaKitty - Um so I’m definitely on Instagram CannaKittyllc, I think I changed it yes and um I have my own website I think it's the same too canadakittyllc.com and email is also the same at Gmail. But I yes please, event planning I love parties. I'm I feel like I would be more of a like the shiny ball in the middle. Like a fun thing to look at I’m a live artist I like to paint live I like to have giant pieces that I’m doing. I like to dress up have my makeup and look a little funky. So, any party that would allow that sounds good. Any event that would allow that sounds good

Debi - Can you give us a little tease about what um we might can be seeing in the future that you haven't talked about yet? Is there anything?

CannaKitty - I have a few project ideas that um. I’m gonna start with the story. Uh when I first moved here I was my home was broken into twice and they took a good chunk of my art pieces and one I hated them because they were pieces that I was working on for so so long and the second part was just me laughing at it because I’m like really you liked it. You liked those art pieces this is what you did that's why they took them but one of them was Alice in Wonderland theme and I worked very very hard on looking up sketches I made sure I had all the right pieces and it's like 3D it's going to pop out. They took that piece that I’ve been working on for so long. So now I have to redo the whole thing, But I have photos of it. So I’m going to redo those in large scale and there's just going to be a lot of Alice in Wonderland. We all fall down a rabbit hole. Mine goes deep it's got many little ups and downs and I; I love it. Sometimes I tell people don't, I'm not gonna fall down your rabbit hole. Like sometimes people's drama and craziness is just too much for me and I’m like don't fall, don't fall in the hole but that's what it feels like for me a lot of the time.

Debi - Alice in Wonderland is absolutely one of my most favorite uh fairy tales.

CannaKitty - Oh Alice in Wonderland's just such an interesting. There's so many little flips to it and she's such a powerful little girl to be asking all these interesting questions and following a whole rabbit down a hole. Like it's she was strength, and nobody appreciated her for it and I love it.

Debi – Yeah she wasn't timid or shy with anyone that she met in her life she was able to take them on and I think that's an absolutely wonderful role model for women and for children even with my son that was one of his favorite movies and a lot of people used to say Alice in Wonderland he's a boy and it's like yeah we basically you know we talked about it a lot and expressed how he could be himself how he was able to be himself. It's really uh beautiful story. I think it's really interesting that you bring that one up since that one is so close to my heart. I appreciate it I look forward to meeting that and seeing that.

CannaKitty - Yes, I’m so excited though.

Debi - oh that's good well I can't wait to have you back on as time comes closer and we get closer to the art show coming up. I want to stay in touch and make sure we're keeping everybody updated on what's happening. So, thank you very much for coming by and I hope you have a beautiful day and let's all be uplifted.

CannaKitty – Exactly, yeah definitely thank you

Debi - You're welcome

I will end with one final note. the trauma you may have endured over your life is what has led you here, contributed to the person you are. Managing how you process and heal from it is up to you. You are important and you matter learn to be in charge for yourself and your life.

ECho podcast is provided by Effective Cannabis where they study, learn, and teach self-healing. The information provided is for medical awareness not medical advice. We thank you for dropping in and listening it really does matter and it means a lot to us. If you want to stay informed on cannabis. Self-healing. and self-growth hit the follow or subscribe button and we will notify you each time we uplift. I hope you have a beautiful day and keep on smiling. Bye